It Couldn't Please Me More
by ello luv
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N: **This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers. Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal.

**A/N2:** Honestly, I'm not sure how many people will read this, just because the pairing is kind of odd.

Chapter 1

Spring had sprung in Washington DC. The sun was shining, the sky a clear azure with the occasional fluffy, white cloud. The trees, having lain dormant for so long, were bursting into new growth. The air was warm, but not stifling, and the softest of barely perceptible breezes was whispering through the brand new leaves. It was such a shame that a gorgeous day like this had to occur in the middle of the week. Children and adults alike stared longingly out of thick-glassed windows, wishing that they could be out there instead of inside their own personal four-walled hell.

Yet, there was a certain group of people who did not share this sentiment. Temperance Brennan and her team of scientists were gladly hard at work inside the brightly fluorescent interior of the Jeffersonian Institute. Though normally Brennan, an anthropologist, would have a forensic case to work on, they had hit a dry spell of murders in the DC area, so she was working on a cleaning a skeleton in order to date it. Dr. Brennan's assistant and, until recently, a grad student, Zack Addy, was seated at a table beside the main body and was using a small pick to clean soil from the tiny finger bones. Zack would then pass the samples to his best friends the entomologist Jack Hodgins for to be analyzed. The forensic artist, Angela Montenegro, had no specific job in this process and was standing off to the side idly sketching the skeleton Brennan was cleaning. Lance Sweets, the psychologist hired by Cam to observe the dynamic between Brennan and the FBI liaison, Booth, was now observing interactions between members of the team without Booth's presence, occasionally recording something down in a yellow legal pad. He sat unobtrusively in the corner and was ignored.

They worked in companionable silence except for the occasional footfall, computer keyboard click, sniffle, or mumble. Suddenly, the slamming of a door broke through their orchestrated silence. Special Agent Seeley Booth, FBI liaison to the Jeffersonian Institute, had shoved the door open and was striding towards the. Angela's pencil stopped, poised over the paper as she looked up at Booth curiously; Hodgins' fingers halted over his keyboard and he looked over, grinning excitedly; Zack, who had dropped his pick in surprise at the loud nose, was scrambling to pick it up; Sweets glanced up briefly then returned to his writing; Brennan, upper body still bent over the skeleton, looked up at her partner with raised eyebrows. Booth glanced around at all of the eager faces

"What?" he asked moodily, "What the hell are you staring at?"

Angela pursed her lips and exchanged glances with Brennan. Booth was never this brusque with them.

"Is there a case?" Brennan asked.

"I wish,"

"You wish that there had been a murder?" Brennan asked incredulously, Booth let out a grumble of annoyance.

"Are you saying," Sweets, ever the psychologist, piped up from his corner, "that the idea of a murder excites you?"

"Shut up, you quack,"

Sweets, looking hurt, noted something in his legal pad.

"Are you okay?" Angela asked, approaching the agent cautiously.

"I'm fine. There's nothing wrong," Booth growled, causing Angela to step back nervously. Booth clutched the bridge of his nose.

"It's juts a headache," he said defensively, though no one had asked. Brennan was undeterred by Booth's odd behaviour.

"Booth, you're acting extremely strangely,"

Booth opened his mouth to deny the accusation, taking a step forward, but his legs buckled beneath him and ended up sprawled on the floor.

"Booth!"

Brennan rushed over to kneel by the agent, Angela and the others close behind. Booth sat up.

"I'm fine I just—,"

He sat, swaying, for a moment then promptly vomited into his lap.

_______________________________

Gregory House was late. As usual. He walked into Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, his coat dripping from the pouring rain outside, leaving wet shoe prints with every step. He wiped the rubber tip of his wooden cane on a nearby rug. House continued over the elevator with uneasy steps. He'd had enough bad experience with wetness to know that if he walked any faster he would end up on his back with the nurses crowded abound. Another reason he hated wet days such as this one was that the fear of falling stopped him from walking fast enough to avoid people he wanted to avoid. As he walked, House counted the steps before he would be past Cuddy's office. House breathed a brief sigh of relief when he arrived at the elevator unhindered.

"House!"

Whoops. Spoke too soon. House turned to see Alison Cameron, a former fellow of his, striding over to him.

"Who modeled for those scrubs?" House asked, looking her over, "Big Bird?"

Cameron tugged at the hem of her bright yellow scrubs top.

"I'm working in Pede's today. Cuddy wants you in her office.

"Good for her,"

House turned and pressed the up button by the elevator with the tip of his cane, willing it to go faster.

"It's about a case," Cameron revealed in a sing-song voice.

As if on cue, the elevator dinged and the doors slip open. House entered the elevator car and turned back to face the other doctor.

"If it's important enough, she'll find me," he said as the doors snapped shut.

Once Cameron was out of view, House leaned against the back wall, twirling his cane idly. When the doors opened again, House pushed off the wall, walked out into the hallway, and down to his department. He could see Foreman, Thirteen, Kutner, and Taub waiting in the glass-walled conference room. He walked past aforementioned conference room and his own office to stop by a wooden door at the end of the hall House raised a fist, ready to knock directly underneath the gold lettering that spelled "James Wilson, M.D.", then, with a shrug, he just opened the door. Wilson was sitting at his desk doing some paperwork and looked up when he heard the door open.

"You're dripping," Wilson observed calmly.

"Really? I hadn't noticed,"

Wilson rolled his eyes and returned to the work.

"Your team is waiting for you," Wilson commented, making a note on one of his charts.

"Yup," House said cheerfully, settling on the couch.

"Stop soaking my furniture, House, or get out. I have work,"

Without a word, house stoop and walked to the door, deliberately dragging a wet sleeve across Wilson's wooden desk. At the door, House halted and looked back.

"Lunch?"

"Sure," Wilson replied.

Not bothering to stop his work. House exited Wilson's office and made his way to his own department, pushing the glass door open and entering the conference room. Foreman, who was reading a newspaper, looked up.

"You're late,"

"Thank you Sir Points-Out-the-Obvious,"

Taube, who had been doing the crossword from aforementioned newspaper, glanced up briefly then returned to his puzzle. House looked over to where Thirteen and Kutner were playing hangman on the whiteboard.

"The answer is 'sternocliedomastoid'," he said, hanging up his still dripping coat.

Kutner happily filled in the rest of the letters. He began to draw another game underneath the first, mumbling each letter inaudibly as he made the blank spaces.

"Latisimus dorsi," House guessed immediately.

"Nope," Kutner said with a grin. He drew a head on the hangman.

This was the position that Dean of Medicine Lisa Cuddy found her diagnostics team when she walked in to the conference room. Foreman was reading a different section of the newspaper, Taub was close to completing his crossword puzzle, Thirteen was lost in thought, Kutner was grinning excitedly with the marker dangling between his fingers, and House was staring at the game of hangman with the same intensity his eyes usually held when looking at lists of symptoms. The hangman now also had a body and legs. Cuddy cleared her throat and all five doctors looked up. She stood in the doorway, arms crossed and scrutinizing them in annoyance. Beside her stood a woman that they didn't recognize who was dressed in dark jean and a pale pink blouse that complimented her caramel skin. Her dark brown hair was in a high ponytail.

"I don't pay you to lounge around in your conference room," Cuddy intoned angrily, though there was a touch of amusement in her voice.

"But mommy," House mock whined, "it's so fun."

Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"Right. Didn't Doctor Cameron tell you that I wanted to see you in my office?"

"And when have I ever listened to Cameron?"

"In any event," Cuddy continued, ignoring House, "I have a case for you. This is Cam Saroyan,"

Cuddy said, indicating the woman beside her, "we used to be neighbors during high school. Cam, this is my diagnostic team: Doctors Gregory House, Eric Foreman, Chris Taub, Remy Hadly, and Lawrence Kutner."

Cuddy pointed to each of them in turn.

"Cam is a pathologist at the Jeffersonian Institute in Washington DC. One of her coworkers is sick and no doctor in the DC area has been able to figure out what it is," Cuddy said, handing the file folder to Taub, who passed it over to House.

House signaled for Kutner to erase the whiteboard and opened the file. Cuddy ushered Can into the room, whispering in her ear, and the two women stood off to the side. House grabbed his cane and limped over to the whiteboard, taking the marker from Kutner's fingers.

"Male, aged thirty seven," House began, writing on the board, "complaining of headaches and dizziness, presenting with nausea, weakness of limbs, high blood pressure, and personality disturbances."

"Head CT?" Thirteen asked.

"Already done," House replied, "Clean."

"Could be spontaneous intracranial hypotension," Kutner suggested, "Headaches, nausea, it fits."

"CT was clear," Taub countered.

"Doesn't explain limb weakness or personality disturbances. Plus, no vision problems. Blurriness is a major symptom of SIH," Foreman added, "Might be carbon monoxide poisoning. A leak in the home or workplace."

"Both of which are in Washington DC," House commented, "Moving on."

No one said anything.

"Right," House said finally, "Well, I guess we need to g see the patient."

The team stared at him incredulously.

"You never willingly go see patients," Taub pointed out.

"Any friend of a friend of Cuddy's is a friend of mine," House replied with raised eyebrows.

He limped put the door, leaving the shocked team behind him.

"House going to see a patient?" Kutner repeated, "I don't know who I am anymore!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N:** Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

Chapter 2

Temperance Brennan and Angela Montenegro stood out in the hallway of the hospital looking extremely bored.

"How long can it take to change into a hospital gown?" Brennan complained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"The suit has a lot of components, I guess," Angela replied with a shrug.

"I could remove a suit in less time than this!" Brennan groused.

Angela glanced at Brennan and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Brennan looked back at her friend oddly.

"What? I was merely suggesting that it shouldn't be taking this long to—,"

"I know," Angela interrupted. Sometimes her best friend could be extremely clueless.

They stood in silence for a few moments, listening to the soft murmur of male voices coming from inside the room.

"Are you okay, Sweetie?" Angela asked suddenly.

"Of course I'm okay," replied Brennan, "I'm not the one in the hospital bed, Booth is."

"Well I know that you're fine _physically_," Angela said with a slightly exasperated eye roll, "but are you fine emotionally?"

"You know perfectly well that—,"

"Are you worried," Angela interjected, interrupting her friend once more.

"About Booth? No," Brennan replied. At Angela's look she sighed.

"Well, maybe just a little," the anthropologist conceded, "I just wish that the doctor would arrive."

Angela nodded in a agreement and turned to knock on the glass doors, currently obscured by off-white blinds.

"Come on!"

Hodgins' face appeared in a gap between to slats of the blinds.

"Yeeees?"

Angela crossed her arms and frowned.

"Hodgins," she warned.

Hodgins chuckled and opened the door so that Angela and Brennan could step inside. Booth was lying on the bed, white top sheet pulled up to his waist, clad in one if those polka-dotted hospital gowns, hands tucked behind his head. Sweets sat in a straight-backed chair in the far side of the bed, feet propped up on its metal frame, doodling idly on his yellow legal pad. Zack sat unobtrusively on a small bench in the corner, looking unusually young in his jeans and layered shirts, short sleeved brown over long sleeved white. Hodgins stood leaning against the wall facing the bed. Brennan pulled up a chair on Booth's other side and sat, crossing her long legs. Angela went over to join Zack on the bench.

"Hey, Zack," she sighed tiredly.

"Hello, Angela," the young man replied, "you seem stressed."

"Just tired is all," Angela told him, smiling softly at the friendly concern in his voice.

"If there is anything I can do, just let me know," Zack offered.

"Wake me when the doctor gets here," Angela answered, leaning her head on Zack's shoulder.

"Um,"

Zack looked slightly uncomfortable by the physical contact, in part because he wasn't used to more than a pat on the shoulder once in a while and partly because Angela was his best friend's girlfriend. Hodgins chuckled lightly when Zack's startled gaze met his own, but made no move to indicate that he was unhappy with the arrangement.

Their silence was comfortable. Hodgins had settled himself on the floor with Sweets and the two were playing checkers on a small magnetic travel game the latter had brought with him, Booth was sitting up in bed engrossed in Brennan's latest book, Brennan was still seated in her chair and staring at the ceiling in thought, Zack was sketching some gears and such on Sweets' legal pad, and Angela was asleep and snoring lightly in Zack's ear. Suddenly, the glass door slid open and Cam stepped inside.

"The doctors are on their way," she announced.

"I need more than one?" Booth queried, placing a piece of paper in the book to mark his place. Sweets and Hodgins began t clean up the checkers game

.

"It's a diagnostic team," Cam explained, "led by some guy names House."

Zack's head snapped up.

"Gregory House?"

They all turned to the young man.

"Yes," Cam replied, "you know him?"

"Before I began to work under Doctor Brennan, my previous teacher required me to go to a medical convention. As well as many lectures on bone structure, I was able to hear Dr. House speak about his diagnostic process. It was very interesting."

"So, this House guy, he's good?" Booth asked.

"One of the best, Agent Booth," Zack replied.

"Speak of the devil," Cam said, "here come Dr. House and his team now."

Zack nudged Angela awake and she murmured thanks, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. The door slid open and five people stepped through. In the lead was an older gruff-looking man with scruffy stubble, wearing jeans and black suit jacket over a light blue button down. He was limping and relying on a wooden cane to help him around. He stopped just short of the bed.

"I thought you said they were scientists," he said, "That one guy looks like he could snap my neck."

"I said that he worked with scientists," came the reply from a younger Indian man, wearing a white lab coat over jeans and a dark grey t-shirt, "The patient is an FBI agent."

"Kutner, check the patient's vitals,"

The younger man gave a nod and approached Booth.

"The patient has a name, it's Seeley Booth, and he wants a doctor who's older than ten," Booth commented.

House smirked.

"I like you," he said, "but I don't care. Kutner, check the vitals. Right then, my name is Dr. House and I'll be overseeing your case. These are my ducklings, they do as I say."

House proceeded to introduce the rest of his team. A balding man wearing a light green button down, a dark grey tie, and slacks underneath his crisp lab coat was introduced as plastic surgeon turned diagnostician Taub; the only woman there, who had brown hair down to her shoulders and was wearing her lab coat over black skinny jeans and a lilac top was named Hadley, but everyone called her Thirteen; the Indian man was formally introduced as Kutner; a black man wearing a tan suit with a dark blue tie was revealed to be Foreman.

"Or as I like to call them," House said with a smirk, "white, hot, dark, and darker. I don't actually care who any of you are, but my boss is making me find out, so make it snappy."

As Cam went around introducing everybody, Zack had a strange feeling that he was being watched. He looked up and saw that the young Indian doctor, Dr. Kutner, was looking at smiled at him and Zack smiled shyly in return.

"Kutner!"

Kutner's eyes snapped to House and the smile disappeared.

"BP's still elevated," Kutner told his boss, "130 over 70."

House gave a curt nod and then indicated for one of the other doctors to continue. It was Taub who picked up.

"So, you say that you're feeling pain," he said.

"My lower back," replied Booth. House had opened his mouth to make a comment, when another voice interrupted.

"Excuse me, but—," Sweets began.

"Not now, Doctor Sweets," Cam said brusquely.

"But Doctor Saroyan, it's—,"

"Not now,"

Sweets shut his mouth, but still looked worried.

"There's a not in his case file about a personality disturbance," Thirteen piped up, "but based on your reactions to what Agent Booth was saying, this is how he normally acts."

"The defensiveness has decreased these past few days," Brennan told them.

"His pee is brown," Sweets blurted out suddenly. Kutner rushed over to Sweets' side of the bed and lifted the catheter bag.

"Is he okay?" Sweets asked nervously. House stared at him.

"He's peeing blood, does that sound okay to you?"

____________________________

House added bloody urine to the list of symptoms up on the board.

"Give me ideas," he commanded.

"Renal cell carcinoma," Taub suggested, "explains high blood pressure, localized back pain, and bloody urine."

House gave a nod

"Do a thin section CT with contrast to look for renal cysts," he ordered the team, "If you find any, call Wilson."


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N: **Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

Chapter 3

Wilson lowered the scans from eye level and turned towards House's expectant team.

"Is it renal cell carcinoma?" Kutner asked.

"Not yet," Wilson replied, "but if we don't get them out, it will be."

______________________

Wilson slid into the patient room to find the entire Jeffersonian team crowded inside. An attractive woman, the forensic artist Angel Montenegro if Wilson remembered House's description correctly, was the first to notice him.

"Can we help you?"

Wilson felt slightly unnerved when all seven pairs of eyes trained upon him.

"Yes, hello, may I talk to Agent Booth privately?" Wilson requested.

"Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of them," Booth said with a grin. Wilson was slightly shocked at this, but quickly regained his composure.

"Agent Booth, my name is Dr. James Wilson. I'm the head of the oncology department," Wilson told him.

Booth's grin faded.

"I have cancer?"

"Your CT scans revealed a few cysts in you kidneys," Wilson explained, "they're benign at the moment, but if we don't remove them, there's a 70% chance of it developing into renal cell carcinoma, which is an aggressive kidney cancer."

"So, I need surgery?" Booth asked.

"Yes," Wilson replied, "It's a pretty major surgery, but it is the suggested course of action."

The room was dead silent for the following minutes as Wilson waited patiently for Booth's decision.

"Let's do the surgery,"

______________________

Booth felt extremely powerless as he lay on the gurney, watching the ceiling tiles move past him. He was pushed through two sets of doors before finally coming to a stop. Brennan's face came into his view and he smiled. Soon the faces of Angela, Hodgins, Zack, and Sweets completed a full circle around him.

"This is far as we can go, Booth," Brennan stated. Outwardly, she seemed calm, yet Booth could have sworn that he detected a slight waver in her voice.

"See you on the other side, Bones, Squint Squad," he said confidently with a cocky grin.

"Time to go," said the voice of Booth's Australian surgeon.

Brennan surprised them all by giving Booth a quick peck on the cheek, and then he was being wheeled away once again. When they stopped, Booth realized that they must be in the operating theatre. The surgeon appeared above him, grey eyes locking onto Booth's brown ones as the mask was lowered over his nose and mouth.

"We'll see you at the other end, Agent Booth,"

The blonde Australian's face swam in Booth's vision and then everything went black.

_______________________

Kutner stood outside of the patient room, holding a medium sized paper sack. He had been standing out there for a few minutes already, a strange nervousness fluttering in his chest as he watched the young forensic anthropologist, Zack Addy. Zack was sitting alone by Booth's bedside where the still unconscious agent lay. He seemed to be lost in thought, but Kutner could tell that he was bored out of his mind.

"What is wrong with me," Kutner muttered.

He pushed away the nervous jitters in his limbs and opened the door. Zack looked up at the sound, slightly surprised to see him.

"?"

"I heard that your team left you to babysit. I brought some food," Kutner offered, holding up the bag, "thought you might be hungry."

Kutner walked over and held out the back, which Zack took, eagerly pulling out a turkey sandwich.

"It's hospital food, so it's not the best," Kutner apologized, hands in his pockets, as Zack took a huge bite, "but I figured that it was better than nothing."

Zack swallowed.

"Thank you, Dr. Kutner,"

"You can call me Lawrence," Kutner blurted out, "or Larry. I mean, if you'd like."

Kutner could feel the slight heat rise in his cheeks. What was it about Zack that made him into a nervous wreck?

"Well then Lawrence," Zack said, "please sit down. My feet are hurting just looking at you standing so stiffly."

Kutner let out a nervous chuckle and sat on the chair beside Zack's.

"So, what do you guys usually do when you're not sitting around in the hospital?" Kutner asked.

"We solve murders," Zack replied, offering his newly opened bag of crisps. Kutner took one.

"Thanks. You solve murders? Seriously?" he asked, popping the crisp into his mouth.

"Yes, that's right. Sometimes the FBI has cases where they find the body of a victim, but it's too decomposed to identify by sight. That's where we come in," Zack explained, taking a sip of the Sierra Mist Kutner had brought him. "Agent Booth brings these cases to us at the Jeffersonian Institute. Dr. Saroyan, Cam to you, is a pathologist, so she gets any clues she can from the remaining flesh."

"She's the Hispanic looking one, right? Black hair always up in a ponytail?"

"Yeah, that's right. The body is then passed on to Dr. Brennan and me. We strip the flesh and use markings on the bones to figure out age, gender, ethnicity, cause of death, and even the murder weapon."

"Brennan: auburn hair? Agent Booth calls her 'Bones'?"

"Correct again," Zack said with a grin, offering Kutner another crisp, "Angela is a forensic artist so she uses the details that we discover in order to make accurate illustrations of out victims to help with identification. She has an amazing machine we call the Angelator that she can use to recreate the crime scene. Hodgins is an entomologist. Curly hair," he added before Kutner could ask, "he's out 'bugs and slime guy', to quote him. He uses soil and other particulates on and around the body to help us determine where the actual murder took place. Sometimes, a person is killed in one place and then dragged or carried to another."

"You really enjoy your work, don't you?" Kutner asked, watching the way Zack's eyes shone as he explained everything.

"The anthropological part is my passion," he said, "but I find the entire process fascinating."

"I can tell," Kutner said, grabbing another crisp, "so what about the other guy?" he popped the chip into his mouth, "always wearing suits, kinda youngish."

"That's Dr. Sweets," Zack replied, "he's a psychologist from the FBI. Very helpful during interrogations, but not so successful in making Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan resolve all that sexual tension between them."

Kutner chuckled as Zack ate another few bites of his sandwich.

"So, other than solving murder mysteries and babysitting sleeping FBI agents, what kind of stuff do you like to do?"

Zack paused mid bite and glanced over at Kutner from the corner of his eye, obviously surprised.

"No one's ever asked me that before," Zack admitted, "though Hodgins doesknow about my obsession with _Firefly, _but that's only because I live in the apartment above his garage. Have you ever seen _Firefly_?"

"No, I've hear of it though,"

"Oh, it's amazing!"

Zack launched into a long description of the show, eyes shining again. Kutner's own eyes were drawn to Zack's lips. They looked so soft. This thought struck Kutner like a bolt of lightning. Sure, he had messed around some in college, but it had never occurred to him that he might actually be gay. But as Kutner watched, fixated on Zack's pink lips, he realized that he must be. Gay, that is, or at least attracted to Zack.

"You should watch it some time,"

Kutner snapped from his realization and his eyes caught Zack's again.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, "What else do you like?"

"Well," Zack said slowly, "everybody thinks that I'm ignorant about pop culture just because I don't have very good social skills, but, truthfully, I really love Batman. Anything having to do with Batman, I have seen."

"Me too!" Kutner said excitedly, "Hey, wanna come over to my place tonight for Thai food and a Batman marathon?"

"Sure!"

Kutner dug in his lab coat pockets, procuring a crumpled piece of paper and a chewed on Biro pen. He jotted down his address and handed the paper to Zack before tucking the Biro back into his pocket. Zack folded the paper neatly and slipped it into his own jeans pack, looking up at Kutner. Their eyes locked. If this were a cartoon, Kutner knew that there would be lightning between them right now. He felt as if someone has splashed ice water on him. It seemed as if the world didn't exist, only Zack's face was real. His heart was beating fast and faster, pounding in his ears and they both edged closer.

"Zack?"

Their eyes snapped to the doorway. Cam was standing there, looking at them curiously.

"I brought you something to eat,"

"Thank you, Dr. Saroyan," Zack said, his voice strangely calm, "but Lawrence brought me some food already."

"Lawrence?" Cam repeated.

"Dr. Kutner,"

Just then, Kutner's pager went off. He glanced down to see that it was a message from "Papa Duck" telling him to "come home".

"House needs me," Kutner announced, standing up, "Make sure you page up when Agent Booth wakes up. Six o' clock, Zack, don't be late."

"Six o' clock?" Cam asked once Kutner had left. Zack met her gaze squarely.

"Wouldn't you like to know."


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N: **Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

**A/N2: **Reviews are the only payment I get, and right now I'm pretty poor.

Chapter 4

House looked over at the doorway as Kutner stepping into the diagnostics conference room.

"Where've you been?"

"Around," Kutner replied, "what's up?"

"The post-op CT came back clean. The patient woke up half way through, though, and he was moving around so we had to start over."

"So he was awake for his post-op CT," Kutner said, "So what?"

"The personality disturbances came back," Thirteen replied, "He was extremely rude and made lewd jokes. His partner, Dr. Brennan, was shocked by his behaviour."

"She doesn't seem like the kind of person who gets shocked easily," Kutner supplied.

"Exactly,"

"What if the renal cysts were not the cause, but a symptom?" Taub offered.

"But what causes headaches, high blood pressure, personality disturbances, localized back pain, and renal cysts?" Foreman asked.

"Don't forget weakness of limbs," Thirteen reminded them, scanning the file, "It says that his legs collapsed while he was at the workplace."

"He was also vomiting," Taub added.

"A CNS hemangioblastoma could explain the headache and vomiting," Kutner said.

"And a spinal hemangioblastoma could explain the localized pain," Foreman countered.

"Could he have both?" Thirteen asked, "House?"

House wasn't listening, but rather he was looking out into space with a contemplative look on his face.

"Alright, who gave him the epiphany?"

Foreman, Taub, Thirteen, and Kutner looked to the doorway to see Wilson standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"We were discussing possible causes and when we asked his opinion he was like this," Foreman explained, "How can you tell when it's an epiphany and when he's just zoning out?"

Wilson ignored the question.

"I thought that the renal cysts were the cause,"

"The patient is still experiencing the other symptoms," Taub began, " so—"

"So the cysts were also a symptom," Wilson completed, "Right. Well, I stopped by to tell you that your patient is awake."

"Thriteen,"

they started at the sound of House's voice. The diagnostician was still staring inot the distance as he spoke.

"Thirteen, go update the patient on his status. I need to think,"

Thirteen complied, rising from her chair and leaving the conference room. She soon reached the FBI agent's room. Booth was propped up in his bed, frowning moodily, Brennan stood by him stiffly flanked by Zack and Hodgins. Angela and Cam were seated on the bench in the corner. Sweets was seated close to Booth's bedside, writing rapidly on his legal pad. The fact that Booth's glare was directed at Sweets betrayed the face that he was currently extremely annoyed with the psych evaluation he must be getting.

Tucking the file folder under her arm, Thirteen slid the door open and stepped inside. Cam glanced over.

"Dr. Hadley," she acknowledged, "What's going on?"

"Well," Thirteen began, "The post-op CT was clean."

"So, he's cured?" Brennan asked.

"The fact that the pain and mood swings are still occurring—"

"My back hurts like hell," Booth interrupted snidely.

"The fact that the pain and mood swings are still occurring," Thirteen repeated, pretending not to have heard, "lead us to believe that the kidney cysts were also a symptom of the underlying disease."

"So what's wrong with him?" Hodgins asked.

"You're annoying me, that's what's wrong," Booth muttered.

"We don't know yet," Thirteen said slowly, once again ignoring the agent, "but Dr. House is working hard to figure it out."

"What did you just do?"

The note of horror in Booth's voice caught everyone's attention and they turned to see the agent looking around wildly.

"What do you mean?" Brennan asked.

"Turn on the lights!" Booth demanded.

Thirteen strode over, removing a penlight from her lab coat pocket.

"Agent Booth, please sit still," Thirteen requested calmly.

Booth obeyed, his eyes wide and his breath coming in short gasps. Thirteen held his eyelid open and shone the light in his eye. She frowned when she saw that the eye was slightly cloudy.

"He has a retinal hemangioblastoma," Thirteen announced, "Right eye."

"Schedule a head CT and a full body MRI with contrast," House commanded.

"We suspect that Agent Booth has a retinal hemangioblastoma," Thirteen told the Jeffersonian team as they stood outside of Booth's room.

"A hemangioblastoma is a benign tumour," she explained, "Agent Booth will need laser eye surgery to remove it. Most of the time there are more than one hemangioblastoma, so we've scheduled a CT scan of his brain and an MRI to look for more tumors. Unfortunately, the first opening isn't until seven tonight, but we scheduled him for surgery right away. I would suggest that you All go to your hotel and relax. Let Agent Booth rest without everybody crowded around him. We'll call you with the results."

They all stood in silence for a few moments.

"Thank you, Dr. Hadley," Cam said finally. The pathologist turned to her friends.

"She's right, we should go."

They all filed inside the room to say their goodnights to Booth. Thirteen waited until they were all gone before heading to the cafeteria to grab some food. She was on call tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N:** Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

**A/N2: **Cookies to anyone who can find the _Bones_ quote! Hint: In the show, Vincent Nigel-Murray says it.

Chapter 5

Kutner was loading a DVD into the player when a knock came at the door.

"Just a second!" he called out, pushing the drive in.

He loaded up the main menu before rushing to the door, to reveal Zack, standing with his hands in his pockets.

"that was more than a second," Zack told him matter-of-factly.

"Shut up," Kutner said good-naturedly with a playful grin.

Zack stepped inside and Kutner shut the door.

"Have a seat," Kutner told him, gesturing to the couch. "I'll get the food."

Zack made his way over the to black leather couch and sat gingerly on the edge. He looked down at his hands, wound in his lap. Zack wasn't quite sure why he was so nervous. Maybe is was because of the almost-kiss he and Kutner had shared in Booth's room earlier that day—had it really been that short if a time ago? It felt like years since that morning—but Zack doubted that anything of that nature would happen again.

"Pad Se-Lew with chicken," Kutner announced grandly. Zack looked up to see the other man carrying two take-out boxes in one hand, and two beers in the other. Kutner handed one of the boxes and a pair of chopsticks to Zack, placing his own portion on the mahogany coffee table He put the beers on two blue ceramic coasters. Zack opened up the take-out container eagerly. The smell of the food—flat noodles, chicken, broccoli, and egg soaked in sweet soy sauce—had him almost drooling.

"Ready?" Kutner asked as he popped open first Zack's beer and then his. Zack picked up the Coors and sniffed at it.

"I don't usually drink beer," he confided.

"There's a first time for everything," Kutner remarked.

"Cheers," Zack agreed as they clinked bottles. He drank.

"Good?" Kutner asked. Zack nodded. "Excellent! On we go!"

He picked up the remote and pressed play on _Batman Begins_. Kutner wasn't really paying attention to the movie. He ate his food and glanced at Zack from the corner of his eyes. The forensic anthropologist was watching the film intently, slurping his pad se-lew and occasionally laughing at the action on the screen. Kutner sipped his beer, almost nervously. There was a small spot of sauce at the right corner of Zack's mouth and Kutner gripped his now-empty beer bottle tighter to stop himself from reaching over to wipe it away.

"I'm going to get another beer," Kutner murmured, "Want one?"

Zack nodded, handing his bottle to Kutner with a soft "thanks". Kutner stood and walked to his kitchen, placing the empty bottles on the counter. He leaned hi hip against the Formica and let out a shaky sigh. He hadn't realized before how much the incident in Booth's room had affected him. Kutner peeked around the corner, his gaze settling on the back of Zack's head. After a moment, Kutner slid back into the kitchen. He unbuttoned his blue and white striped button-down shirt to the reveal the plain white sleeveless undershirt beneath. Kutner grabbed two beers from the fridge and made his way back to the living room. Zack was still engrossed in the movie and took the offered beer without a word. The spot of sauce was still there. Kutner took a big gulp of beer to stop himself from fixing that.

By the time the end credits rolled, both men had drunk two beers and Kutner, always the lightweight, was feeling pleasantly buzzed. Zack turned to face Kutner and smiled widely, the alcohol making him feel more excitable.

"That was fun!" he told Kutner, "Can we watch _The Dark Knight_ next?"

"Huh? Oh, sure," Kutner said absently, distracted by the still-lingered spot of sauce.

"What is it, Lawrence?" Zack asked, full of child-like curiosity.

"Oh, it's just, you've got some sauce…"

Kutner gave in to his temptation and reached forward, wiping the brown dot away with his left thumb, his hand lingering a little longer than necessary.

"Thank you," Zack said softly, his cheeks colouring slightly.

"No problem," Kutner murmured back, his brown eyes now locked with Zack's gray ones.

Kutner slowly leaned in, left hand reaching again to cup Zack's cheek, and lightly touched their lips together in a hesitant kiss. Zack's eyes fluttered closed. When Kutner pulled back, Zack's eyes were sill shut lightly. The gray orbs opened slowly and Zack swallowed.

"I'm secreting adrenaline," the anthropologist said softly. Kutner chuckled absently. For a moment they sat, Kutner's hand still resting on Zack's cheek, but soon their lips met again. In contrast to the previous hesitation, this kiss was sloppy and wet and full of need, tongues twining. Kutner gripped both of Zack's cheeks now as their mouths worked together in harmony. The anthropologist grabbed the belt loops of Kutner's jeans. With one strong heave, Zack pulled Kutner on top of him so that the doctor was straddling his hips, their lips never separating.

Eventually, though, they had to come up for air, pulling apart slowly to gaze into each other's eyes. Kutner leaned forward to kiss Zack again, slowly and sensually this time, pushing his tongue past willing lips to explore, moving his hands to twine fingers in Zack's hair. Zack slowly slid Kutner's button-down shirt off of the young doctor's shoulders, letting it drop to the floor and gripping Kutner's bare forearms. Somewhere in his pocket, Zack's cell phone rang.

"Ignore it," Kutner murmured against Zack's lips when the young anthropologist paused. Zack obliged, hands moving instead to un-tuck Kutner's undershirt and sneak underneath it to run lightly up the darker man's back. Soon, the undershirt joined the button-down on the floor. Kutner untangled his fingers from Zack's brown locks to tug at the anthropologist's layered shirts. Zack leaned forward to help slide the shirts over his head and toss them away. Kutner stood and pulled Zack to his feet, fingers moving to the belt loops of the anthropologist's jeans. The cell phone rang shrilly again. Kutner gripped Zack's wrists to stop him from answering.

"Lawrence, what if it's Dr. Brennan calling to—mmmph,"

Zack was cut off when Kutner's mouth once again covered his own. Despite his vocal protest, Zack responded eagerly, his hands moving to Kutner's lower back and pulling them closer, pressing their bare chests together. Kutner deftly unbuttoned Zack's jeans and pulled the zipper down. He slid a hand underneath the denim, pressing against Zack's boxer-covered erection. Zack gasped against Kutner's mouth and pushed his hips forward to increase the pressure. Kutner obliged, moving his hand in massaging circles as the other pushed the jeans over Zack's hips and dropped them down to pool at the anthropologist's ankles.

Kutner was now able to press an entire palm against Zack, and he did so, causing the anthropologist to give a small moan of pleasure and tip his head back. Kutner moved to place a line of kisses from Zack's jaw down to where his neck joined his shoulders and nibbled lightly there before sucking the small area of skin into his mouth. The cell phone rang again, muffled by the denim resting on it.

"I really should answer that," Zack gasped out. Kutner made a sound of protestation in his throat, but stepped back, smirking slightly when he saw that red mark on Zack's neck. Zack reached down and dug the phone out of his jeans opcket. He flipped it open and held it to his ear.

"You've reached Zachary Addy, PhD," he said into the phone, still slightly breatless, "How may I help you?"

Zack jumped when the caller replied and held the phone away from his ear so that Kutner could also hear the voice of Temperance Brennan yelling at Zack in a slowly increasing volume.

"Yikes," Kutner muttered as the long tirade ended with something along the lines of 'get your ass over here so I can kick it to next week'.

"Yes, Dr. Brennan," Zack said, trying to placate her, "I'll be right there."

He snapped the phone shut before Brennan could yell again.

"She must be more worried about Agent Booth than she let's on," Zack commented, "Dr. Brennan never yells."

"Sorry for getting you in trouble," Kutner apologized as Zack pulled up his jeans.

"It's okay," Zack replied, donning his shirts. Kutner began to do the same, pulling the undershirt over his head.

"I'm assuming this is about Agent Booth's CT and MRI," Kutner said, beginning to dp up his button-down shirt.

"Oh, Lawrence, you don't have to come with me," Zack protested.

"Well, I'll learn the results sooner or later, so it can't hurt," Kutner replied, running fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it less messy.

"Alright, then," Zack said with a shrug.

Sharing one final kiss, they headed out the door.

Brennan looked up when the door slid open, her piercing gaze immediately settling on her young assistant.

"Zack!"

the young man looked down uncomfortably at the forensic artist who's arms were wrapped around his waist.

"Hello, Angela," he said stiffly. Angela let go, stepping out of Zack's personal space apologetically.

"Where have you been?" Angela asked, accusation in her voice.

"Yeah, man," Hodgins added, "We called you three times."

"I was busy and couldn't get to my phone," Zack explained. Kutner, who was standing behind him, struggled to hode the smirk threatening to appear.

"Next time, tell us before you just up and leave the hotel," Hodgins continued, walking over to clap a hand on Zack's shoulder, "We were worried about you. Wait, what's that?"

When Hodgins had brought his hand onto Zack's shoulder, it had pulled the collar of the young anthropologist's shirt down slightly to reveal the small red mark on his neck.

"Um,"

Zack blushed, trying not to glance back at Kutner. Obviously he failed because all attention turned to the young doctor.

"Did you hurt him?" Hodgins accused. Kutner raised his hands in surrender.

"I don't know, did I hurt you, Zack?" Kutner asked with a smile.

"No, Lawrence, I don't believe you did," Zack replied, humour colouring his voice as well. Hodgins scrutinized Kutner through narrowed eyes. Kutner's smile faltered.

"So, what's going on?" Zack asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence between Kutner and Hodgins.

"All we know is that the results of Booth's scans are in," Brennan replied. She glanced over to where Booth was sleeping fitfully in the bed, her eyes shining with concern and worry.

"I'm sure he's fine," Kutner said reassuringly.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch,"

They turned to see a grim-looking House standing in the doorways, a folder of scans in his non-cane hand. The diagnostician limped into the room and over to the light board used to display scans. He hung his cane on the bed railing, waking Booth, and removed twp to scans, putting them up.

"What is it?" Booth asked blearily. House turned on the light board. Kutner took one glance at the pictures and his heart sank. The first scan was of Booth's brain.

"See these things, here and here?" House asked, pointing to three fuzzy black splotches, "those are tumors.

Somebody gasped. House moved on to the second scan and pointed out two more spots in the lumbar region of Booth's spine.

"What do I do?" Booth asked shakily, suddenly fully awake.

"We remove them," House stated simply, "Dr. Chase, the surgeon who removed your cysts, will get the spinal tumors, and Dr. Shepard, out head neurosurgeon, will remove the cerebral tumors. We have an OR free tonight for Chase, but Shepard's surgery will have to wait until tomorrow morning."

Booth glanced around the room at all of his colleagues' grim and worried faces. He nodded resolutely.

"Okay,"

**A/N3: **Kudos also to anybody who found the _Grey's Anatomy _reference.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N: **Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

**A/N2: **Still no reviews, but that won't stop me from posting!

Chapter 6

They sat in solemn silence after House had left. Brennan stood by the bed, a hand on the shocked Booth's shoulder, absent-mindedly rubbing soothing circles with her thumb. Hodgins had an arm around Angela's shoulders and she was resting her head against him. Sweets was looking down at his hands somberly. Zack had unconsciously wandered back towards Kutner and was gripping the doctor's hand tightly. Kutner wasn't technically working yet, so he stayed by, squeezing Zack's hand back.

"You guys should go rest," Booth said softly, breaking the silence, "Have any of you slept at all these past few days?"

Brennan shook her head.

"We'll be here when you get out of surgery," she stated. There were nods of agreement and Booth smiled.

"Thanks guys, it really means a lot to me,"

"Agent Booth?"

Thirteen had appeared at the doorway. She cast a short acknowledging look towards Kutner before addressing the patient again.

"We're ready for you,"

Booth transferred over to the gurney that was waiting outside. Once again, they followed along as far as they could, crowding around the gurney to wish the agent luck with his surgery. When Booth had been wheeled in, Brennan settled herself in one of the chairs that was resting against the wall in the OR hallway.

"Dr. Brennan," Kutner said quietly, "the surgery will take a while. You should probably—"

"Stay here," Brennan interrupted.

"Booth would want you to go rest, sweetie," Angela told her. Brennen slid off her high heels and brought her knees to her chest, curling up on the chair.

"I'll stay here," she said resolutely.

Angela sighed and went over to sit in the chair beside her friend.

"I can offer a bed in one of the on-call rooms, if anyone wants," Kutner said with a small shrug.

A few minutes later, it was decided that Cam, Angela, and Brennan would stay outside the OR, Sweets and Hodgins would go to Booth's room, and Zack would be allowed to have the bed in an on-call room. As the women settled themselves in their chairs, the four men walked to Booth's room. Sweets and Hodgins went inside, waving goodbye to Zack and Kutner.

"Come on, I'll show you where the on-call room is," Kutner said.

They quickly found an empty one and went inside. Zack fell spread eagled onto the cot, clearly exhausted.

"I'll wake you when he's out," Kutner told the anthropologist, moving away.

"Lawrence,"

Kutner turned, finger on the light switch.

"Stay with me?"

Kutner smiled softly and flicked off the lights, going over to the cot and climbing in. He spooned behind Zack, his chest pressing against Zack's back, arms winding around the narrow waist, their legs twined. A few moments later, both men were fast asleep.

Zack woke alone. The spot beside him was cold, leading the anthropologist to believe that he had either dreamed the entirety of the previous day, or that Kutner had been gone for a while. Zack stood and stretched, shirts riding up to expose a strip of pale skin. It was then that Zack noticed how light it was in the room. A glance out the window told him that it was now daylight.

"Hey,"

Zack turned to see Kutner in the doorway, now wearing his white lab coat.

"I tried to wake you when the spinal surgery was over, but you wouldn't wake up," Kutner explained with a soft smile.

"Oh. How'd it go?" Zack asked through a wide yawn.

"Good. They removed both tumors. We're going to biopsy them to see what's going on,"

"How is he?"

"A little bit of back pain, which was to be expected. They're prepping an OR for the brain surgery now. D'you want to see Agent Booth before he goes in?"

Zack nodded.

"Of course,"

"Also," Kutner said, "I brought you breakfast."

He held up a McDonalds bag.

"No crappy hospital food today!" Kutner announced cheerfully. Zack rushed over and took out the breakfast samndwich, unwrapping it and taking a bite. It was soon devoured and Zack was wiping his greasy fingers on his jeans. Kutner chuckled.

"Somebody was hungry," he commented.

"Mmmhmm," Zack hummed happily.

"C'mere, you,"

Kutner grabbed Zack's beltloops and pulled the snthropologist to him, pressing their lips to gether. Zack hummed again as Kutner deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around the doctor's neck. They broke apart a few moments later.

"So it wasn't a dream," Zack said. Kutner chuckled and placed a small kiss on Zack's cheek.

"Let's go see your friend,"

Even after two other surgeries, Booth was still nervous. He supposed that it made sense fore him to be nervous, I mean, he was having brain surgery for Chrissakes! It hadn't really hit him until the neurosurgeon, a middle-aged man with slightly graying black hair and a horrible _thing _on his face that was too long to be called stubble yet too short to be considered a beard, by the name of Dr. Shepard, had come into the room to explain thoroughly the risks of the surgery. He had also marked off how much of Booth's hair had to be removed in order to supply enough access to get at the tumors. In a way, Booth wished that people were allowed to be in the operating room so that he could hold someone's hand. But of course, that was impossible, so Booth had to settle for gripping the operating table.

He felt very naked lying there in a less than modest hospital gown, cold air touching the shaved part of his scalp. The sound of Dr. Shepard and the nurses preparing for the surgery seemed muffled in his ears. Dr. Shepard's face loomed above him and said something that was probably supposed to be comforting, before the anesthesia mask was lowered. The room spun around him and them everything went black.

When he woke, Booth was back in his room. There was a bandage wrapped around his head. It was very itchy, he noticed as his blurred vision cleared.

"Booth!"

Of course Brennan would be the first to notice that he was awake. She immediately rushed over to hug him tightly.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, pulling away.

"Not bad, Bones," he replied, "My head hurts a little bit, but they just cut the top of it off, so what do you expect?"

He looked around the room, grinning when he saw that the entire team was still gathered there. Well, almost the entire team.

"Hey," Booth said suddenly, "Where's Zack?"

"He went somewhere with that one doctor, but we don't know where," Hodgins replied.

"That young Indian one?" Booth asked.

"His name is Dr. Kutner, Booth, but yes," Brennan said.

"Thanks for the lesson, Bones," Booth said with an eyeroll, "Does anybody else think that there's," he paused, "I don't know, something going on between them?"

"You noticed too?" Angela asked.

"I can be observant when I want to. They've been spending a lot of time together," Booth mused.

"Are you suggesting that Zack is a homosexual?" Brennan asked.

"Is there something wrong with that, Bones?"

"No, of course not! In fact," Brennan continued thoughtfully, "I could very much see Zack as a homosexual."

"Nah," Hodgins said, "Not Zack. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but not Zack. That's impossible."

"What's impossible?"

They turned to see Zack in the doorway, Kutner by his side.

"Nothing, Zack," Booth interjected.

"I believe that there are many things that are impossible," Zack said with a frown, "I was simply asking which impossible thing you were discussing."

"Drop it, Zack," Hodgins told him.

"Drop what?" Zack asked, "I'm not holding anything."

They were saved from answering by House entering the room, followed closely by Taub.

"We biopsied the tumors," house told them without preamble, "We found them all to be only hemangioblastomas, which means that they were bengin."

"Which means?" Booth prompted.

"It means that we still don't know what's wrong with you,"

"Oh,"

Booth clenched his fists. House gave a small nod and walked out of the room. Taub paused for a second.

"We'll find out what this is," he assured them, "I promise."

Then, he was gone and they were once again bathed in silence.

"Kutner!" House yelled from out in the hallway. He stuck his head through the doorway.

"Your little boyfriend can last without you for a few minutes, so come do your job!"

Zack and Kutner both flushed deeply. House smirked and withdrew his head.

"Right, so, um," Kutner stuttered, embarrassed, "See you later."

The doctor rushed from the room, his face still burning. Zack turned to face his friends, his own blush still quite prominent. Brennan was smiling softly; Booth looked like he was about to laugh, but his eyes twinkled kindly; Cam was smiling approvingly; Angela was smirking in an I-told-you-so sort of way; Hodgins was slightly slack-jawed, surprised but not disapproving; and Sweets was nodding slightly as he studied Zack with and expression that Booth had dubbed his "psychologist look".

"So," Zack began hesitantly, "Everybody is okay with this?"

"Of course we are, sweetie!" Angela answered for the entire group.

"It's about time you found someone," Booth added.

"Especially after that whole thing with Naomi," Hodgins supplied, referring to a woman who worked at the Jeffersonian with whom Zack had gone on one date.

"So, what are you going to do when we go back to DC?" Cam asked.

"We haven't quite thought that far ahead," Zack admitted.

"They're still in the honeymoon phase," Booth commented.

"How can they be in a honeymoon phase is they haven't been married?" Brennan asked in confusion.

"No, Bones, it doesn't mean that they're married,"

"What does 'honeymoon phase' mean then?"

Booth grinned widely.

"Lots and lots of sex,"

Zack's blush, which had all but disappeared, returned with a vengeance, but he joined his friends in laughter.

When House, Kutner, and Taub returned to the diagnostics conference room, Thirteen and Foreman were seated at the table, while Wilson stood by in the far corner.

"Don't you have little bald kids to take care of?" House shot at the oncologist.

"My next appointment isn't for another few hours, so I figured that I'd hang here," Wilson answered.

"Did Cuddy send you to check up on me?" House asked suspiciously.

"Did you do something that would make her want to check up on you?" Wilson asked just as suspiciously.

"What're you my mother?"

"If I am, then you must have gotten all of your dashing good looks from your father," Wilson replied, "Damn those chromosomes!"

But House was no longer listening. He was looking out into space with a slightly glazed look, brow furrowing slightly.

"And now I've given you an epiphany," Wilson said with slight exasperation, "And you're not going to tell us what it is. Instead, you're just going to—"

But House was already leaving.

"—walk right out the door," Wilson finished. He turned to the team.

"When he gets back, tell him I say 'you're welcome'," Wilson said. Then he was gone, leaving Foreman, Thirteen, Taub, and Kutner nothing to do but wait.

House ignored everyone as he walked into the patient room and strode over to the bed. He hung his cane on the railing and grabbed a pair of latex gloves from the box mounted on the wall.

"What's going on?" Booth asked.

Cane-less, House limped heavily over to the supply cabinets. He pulled out a syringe. Holding it in his mouth, House also grabbed a disinfecting wipe. He limped back over and gripped Booth's arm, turning it over.

"What are you doing?" Booth asked, his voice a mixture of nervousness and anger.

House ripped open the package of the wipe and swabbed the crook of Booth's elbow. He tossed the wipe and wrapper in the trash bin, removing the syringe from his mouth. Booth sucked in a breath sharply as House slid the needle in. He drew the syringe full of blood. Sweets looked away squeamishly, but the others, used as they were to the sight of mangled bodies, kept their eyes on the scruffy doctor. When he had finished, House removed the needle and dropped the syringe into a plastic bag. He handed Booth a small gauze pad for the needle mark before stripping off the gloves and dropping them into the trash. He grabbed his cane and limped out of the room.

"What was that all about?"

The team glanced over the lab results with surprised looks on their faces.

"Kutner," House commanded, "Go tell the patient."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N: **Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

Chapter 7

Kutner tucked the file under his arm and steeled himself before entering the room. Booth was the first to see him.

"Give it to me straight, doc," the agent said dramatically, and all eyes snapped to Kutner. He smiled nervously.

"Agent Booth, you have Von Hippel-Lindau disease,"

Kutner glanced around that their somber faces.

"It's not as bad as it sounds," he said hastily, "VHL is an extremely rare genetic disorder. You know how each person has forty-six chromosomes? Well, chromosome number three is a tumor suppressor. In VHL, there's a mutation on chromosome three so that tumors can now grow. On the bright side, they're all bengin."

"What do I do about it?" Booth asked.

"Basically, you need to have regular checkup exams with MRIs and CTs to check for new tumors,"

"But other than that, I just live normally?"

"Exactly," Kutner confirmed.

Booth began to smile, then to grin, then to laugh giddily. Kutner backed out of the room and left them to their celebration. Just outside the door, her stopped. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, allowing it to rest against the wall with a sigh.

"Lawrence,"

Kutner opened his eyes to see Zack standing before him. He smiled slightly.

"Hey,"

"Are you okay?" Zack asked worriedly.

"I should be asking you that," Kutner replied, "You don't look too happy that your firend is going to be okay."

"It's a mixed bag," Zack told him with a shrug, "On the one hand, I'm glad that Agent Booth is alright, but on the other hand, it means that I have to leave you."

Kutner reached forward and gripped Zack's hand, entwining their fingers.

"I'll write you a lot, and I'll come visit," Kutner promised.

"You better had,"

The two smiled at one another. Kutner used the hand that wasn't twined with Zack's to cup the other man's face, stroking his cheek softly with his thumb.

"We have an audience," Zack murmured.

Kutner glanced into Booth's room out of the corner of his eye and almost laughed aloud. Everyone was watching them, unsuccessfully trying to be discreet.

"Well, we can't disappoint them, now can we?" Kutner murmured back, leaning forward. Zack met him halfway and their lips touched. They could hear whooping from inside Booth's room as Kutner deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to sweep through Zack's mouth a few times before pulling away. He rested his forehead against Zack's.

"I'll miss you," Kutner told him in a whisper.

"Can I come over tonight? Zack asked shyly. Kutner smiled and placed a chaste kiss on Zack's lips.

"Of course,"

They smiled at each other a moment longer before Kutner ushered him into the room to celebrate with his friends.

Kutner was nervous, but he wasn't sure why. It wasn't like this was his first time, far from it in fact, but something about this time made him feel like he was a virgin all over again.

It was while Kutner was rechecking all of his supplied for about the tenth time that a knock came upon the door. It was a formal know, five sharp raps, but Kutner immediately knew that it was Zack. He rushed over to the door and opened it. It was indeed the young anthropologist, wearing a short pea-coat against the brisk spring evening wind. The jacket was open to reveal an emerald green t-shirt with the words "as easy as 3.141592…" scrawled across it in white script. Kutner stepped aside to let the other man in and closed the door behind him. Zack shed the coat and draped it carefully over the back of a chair that was placed near the doorway.

"Hey," Kutner said with an easy smiled, "I was thinking that maybe we could start with some wine. I have a nice Aystralian Port that—"

Kutner got no farther as Zack had pounced, crushing their lips together and hungrily claiming Kutner's mouth with his tongue. It wasn't long before Jutner reacted, letting out a growl from deep in his throat, and pushed his tongue forward to claim dominance. They broke apart, breathing heavily.

"Or not,"

Kutner gripped Zack's hands and led him through the livingroom and to his bedroom. He stopped in the center of the room and covered Zack's mouth with his own once more. He let go of Zack's hands and slid his fingers underneath the anthropologist's t-shirt. They separated just long enough to let Zack slip the shirt over his head and drop it to the floor. Kutner's fingers worked deftly at the button and zipper of Zack's jeans, shedding them too onto the floor. Kutner then moved to his own shirt, fumbling with the top button. Zack grasped Kutner's wrists.

"May I?" he asked against the other man's lips. Kutner nodded. Zack stepped back and released Kutner's wrists in favour of fingering the small buttons on the doctor's black shirt. Unlike the previous time, which had been a feverish need-filled rush to rip the clothes away, Zack worked slowly, relishing each bit of skin he uncovered with every opened button. Zack slid the shirt off the darker man's shoulders and let it fakk to the ground with the soft whisper of cotton.

Zack ran his hands down the other man's biceps lightly and goose bumps broke out in their wake. Kutner let out a shuddering breath, his arms limply at his sides as Zack's fingers ghosted over warm skin. Zack's own breath was puffing against Kutner as the anthropologist placed feather light kisses over the doctor's clavicle. Zack's lithe fingers easily opened Kutner's jeans, sliding the zipper down.

Kutner leaned forward and brought their mouths back together as Zack slid denim jeans and cotton boxers over his hips and dropped then to the floor.

**A/N2: **For anybody who was looking for major smut, I apologize. I am not quite well versed enough to attempt it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: **It Couldn't Please Me More

**Author: **omfg_yaoi­_squee

**Prompt: **House meets Bones, crossover fic

**Pairings: **very slight Booth/Bones, Angela/Hodgins established, Kutner/Zack

**Word Count: **11,334 across eight parts and an epilogue

**Rating/Warning: **PG-14. Warnings: Medical stuffs, but nothing to gruesome. Slash.

**Summary: **When House takes on the case of an FBI agent, Kutner gets more than he bargained for when the meets the agent's partner and, more specifically, her assistant.

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer **I don not own _House, MD _or _Bones _because I am neither David Shore nor Hart Hanson.

**A/N: **Written for house_of_fanfic on livejournal. This story takes place during Season 5 of _House_, ignoring, of course episode 5x20 "Simple Explanations", and during Season 3 of _Bones._ No spoilers.

**A/N2: **Oh noes it's the end! One last plea for reviews.

Chapter 8

Zack awoke with warmth at his back and across his stomach. He smiled as he remembered the events of the night before and snuggled back into the warmth of Kutner's bare chest. In his sleep, the young doctor moved closer and wrapped his arms more securely around Zack's stomach, twining their legs together. Zack let his eyes shut and drifted back into a light sleep.

The shrill ringing of a telephone broke through Zack's doze, jerking Kutner awake as well. The doctor let out a groan and stretched his arms up over his head. He placed a soft kiss on Zack's shoulder then rolled over to the bedside table. Brushing away a condom wrapper, he lifted the receiver to his ear.

"Kutner," he mumbled sleepily.

The doctor listened for a moment and Zack rolled onto his back, lacing his fingers behind his head, the cover sheet draped just so over his hips. Kutner exchanged a few words with the person on the other line. Then, mumbling an "ok", he placed the receiver back into its cradle.

"Your friends are waiting at the hospital," Kutner told him, his voice touched with sadness.

Zack hummed in acknowledgment, but made no move to get up. It was finally hitting him that he and the rest of the Jeffersonian team were going home. As much as he missed the lab, Zack was extremely reluctant to leave his new lover. Kutner seemed to sense what he was thinking and shuffled over, holding himself above the anthropologist and lowering down for a kiss. Zack let out a small sigh of content and allowed Kutner to deepen the kiss. The doctor broke away and smiled down at Zack.

"Come on,"

Zack humphed as Kutner clambered over him and tumbled onto the floor. He snickered.

"Ha ha," Kutner grumbled, pulling himself to his feet, "Get up, you lazy bum."

Zack was still chuckling as he climbed out of bed.

They drove to hospital, separate yet together, with Zack trailing behind Kutner in a rental car. Kutner parked and Zack drove the rental to the front of the hospital where everyone as waiting.

House stood off to the side, flanked by Wilson and Chase. Foreman, Thirteen, and Taub were clustered behind them. Booth stood with an arm slung over Brennan's shoulders for support. Sweets stood at his other side with Cam and Cuddy. Angela and Hodgins were halfway between the two groups.

"Took you long enough!" Booth called out as Zack and Kutner approached. Zack opened his mouth to reply, but Booth lifted a hand to silence him.

"Never mind. I don't want to know,"

Brennan and Booth began to trek down to the car, grabbing the keys from Zack on the way, followed closely by Sweets, Angela, and Hodgins. The latter stopped before them and shook Kutner's hand with a smile. Cam and Cuddy were hugging in farewell, full of promises to visit soon. Even though they had said a lengthy goodbye before even leaving Kutner's apartment, the doctor and the anthropologist stood still now, at a loss for words.

"Zack," Kutner began, taking the other man's hand, "I just want you to know that I lo—"

"Zackaroni! Let's go!"

Kutner was interrupted by Hodgins, who stood by the car impatiently.

"Just a second!" Zack called back over his shoulder before turning to face Kutner again, "Yes, Lawrence?"

Kutner opened his mouth to speak, and then promptly closed it again, smiling sadly.

"Nothing. I'll miss you, that's all," Kutner's smile now seemed slightly forced. "I'll call."

With one final squeeze of the anthropologist's hands, Kutner turned and follwed House and the others back inside. Zack watched his retreating back for a moment and then, heart heavy, he walked over and climbed into the car.

Epilogue – 2 Months Later

They stood crowded around a skeleton on the examination table. Booth was holding his small notebook and occasionally jotting down something that might be relevant to the case.

"There's abrasion on the wrists," Brennan was saying, "The victim must have been tied up for quite a while, even after decomposition, in order to cause bone abrasion."

"There were some rope fibers on her clothing," Zack told her.

"Kevlar," Hodgins interjected helpfully, "It's a very light, but extremely strong material used to make bulletproof vests."

"Based on the depth of the abrasion and the strength of Kevlar, how long was she tied up for?"

"Four months," Zack and Hodgins replied simultaneously. They grinned at each other.

"Hodge Podge and Zackaroni strike again!" Hodgins exclaimed.

"Four months," Booth repeated as he wrote it down, ignoring the King of the Lab high five the two squints were sharing, "I'll check the missing persons log."

"Sorry to interrupt, but you have a visitor,"

they turned to see Cam standing near the stairs, accompanied by an Indian man wearing jean, button down shirt, and a smile.

"Dr. Kutner?" Brennan queried.

With an exclamation of "Lawrence!" Zack surprised them all by leaping off of the platform and bounding over to the doctor. He leaped into the doctor's arms and kissed him deeply and enthusiastically. When they broke apart, both were breathing heavily, matching grins on their flushed faces. Kutner caught Zack's eyes.

"There's something I should have told you two months ago," the doctor said breathlessly, "Zachary Addy, I love you."

"I love you too, Lawrence Kutner,"

They brought their lips together once more.

**A/N3: **Okay, so I definitely planned on having this fic center around the medicine with some Zack/Kutner on the side, but as you can see I epically failed.


End file.
